How much is that doggie in the window?

Hah! For a second you thought I was crazy and stupid (I only admit to one of those.)  No, we are not getting a dog.  Despite Fletch’s continued contention that we promised him a dog when we moved, we will not be adding a canine member to our family.  In fact, Fletcher believes we should have one dog and three puppies so sadly this wish will never come true.  But I’m not posting to share how Eddie and I are dream killers, I wanted to tell you about my new favorite game with Cooper, Hudson, and Nathan, its called Pretend Puppy.  Yep, they pretend to be dogs and I go along like I have three puppies in the house.

It started last week while we were dog-sitting my Mom and Ed’s dog.  They found her leash and dog walking ensued.  It’s pretty cute, they bark and run around holding the leash (no, I don’t attach it to them).  The best part is that they do what I tell them.  Seriously, telling a two year old to come and lay down is like ordering a drink in a crowded bar (not that I remember), they might hear you but its unlikely you’ll get what you want.  But telling a pretend puppy to do the same is very effective.  Most of the time they comply immediately.  If they don’t, one “bad puppy” coupled with a frown and they are instantly on the floor ready to get dressed.

So if you’re having listening issues with your toddler, I highly recommend Pretend Puppy.  We may even try some advanced tricks this week like heel and fetch (maybe I’ll get some cleaning done).

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No triplets were harmed in the taking of this photo. Cooper got in the cage all on his own. I think there was a bone in there.

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Ode to …

In the depths of my desperation to exorcise  this interminable stomach bug from my home, I considered photographing the results and posting them to the blog.  It seems that whenever my children are doing something adorable, they stop as soon as the camera comes out.  Logically, if I tried to take a picture of the vomit, it should magically disappear.  Right?

At that moment, I was willing to try anything!  Fortunately for you, the odor was so overwhelming my reflex to rid us of the stench left me with nothing to photograph.

Instead, I was inspired to share with you my feelings on the last two weeks in verse.  If you are more of a visual person, I suggest having someone read the following aloud so you can properly picture the appropriate illustrations.

(Thank you, Dr. Suess)

I am Alleyoop

I am Alleyoop
Alleyoop am I 

That Alleyoop
That  Alleyoop
He through me for a loop
That Alleyoop

Do you like puke and poop?

I do not like them, 
Alleyoop.
I do not like puke and poop.

Do you like them here or there?

I do not like them here or there.
I do not like them anywhere.
I do not like puke and poop.
I do not like them Alleyoop.

Do you like them in your house?
Do you like them on your blouse?

I do not like them in my house.
I do not like them on my blouse.
I do not like them here or there.
I do not like them anywhere.
I do not like puke and poop.
I do not like them, Alleyoop.

Did you like them yesterday?
Did you like them anyday?

Not yesterday.
Not anyday.
Not in my house.
Not on my blouse.
I do not like them here or there.
I do not like them anywhere.
I do not like puke and poop.
I do not like them Alleyoop.

You could! You should!
In a car?
Clean them! Clean them! 
Here they are!

I could not , should not in a car.

You will clean them,
You will heave.
You will clean them,
From off your sleeve.

Not off my sleeve.
I could not, should not off my sleeve.
Not in my car. Please take your leave.

Not yesterday.
Not anyday.
Not in my house.
Not on my blouse.
I do not like them here or there.
I do not like them anywhere.
I do not like puke and poop.
I do not like them Alleyoop.

The bed! The bed!
The bed! The bed!
Could you, should you on the bed?

Not on the bed! Not on my sleeve!
Not in my car! Alleyoop, I must heave.
I could not, should not yesterday.
I could not, should not anyday.
I will not clean them in my house.
I will not clean them from my blouse.
I will not clean them here or there.
I will not clean them anywhere.
I do not like them, Alleyoop.

Say!
From afar?
Could you, should you from afar?

I could not, should not from afar.

Could you, should you on your head?

I could not, should not on my head.
Not from afar.  Not on a bed.
Not in a car.  Not on my sleeve.
I do not like them.  Alleyoop, please leave.
Not in my house.  Not yesterday.
Not on my blouse. Not anyday.
I will not clean them here or there.
I will not clean them anywhere.

You do not like puke and poop?

I do not like them Alleyoop.

Could you, should you in the bath?

I could not, should not in the bath. 

Could you, should you clean the aftermath? 

I could not, should not in the the bath.
I could not, should not clean the aftermath.
I will not clean them from my head. 
I will not clean them from the bed. 
Not from afar. It’s on my sleeve. 
Not in my car.  I need to heave. 
I did not like them yesterday. 
I do not like them anyday. 
I will not clean them from my house.
I will not clean them from my blouse. 
I do not like them here or there. 
I do not like them ANYWHERE!

I do not like puke and poop!

I do not like them, Alleyoop.

You do not like them.
SO you say.
Clean them! Clean them!
Cleaning is the only way.
To send it all away.
Alleyoop!

If it will make you go away.
I will clean them each and every day.

Say!
I cleaned puke and poop!
I did!! I cleaned them, Alleyoop!
And I have cleaned the aftermath!
And I have cleaned them from the bath…
And I have cleaned them from my head.
And I cleaned near and far. And from the bed.
And in the car. And from my sleeve.
And that is why I must heave and heave!

So I have cleaned them yesterday.
And I will clean again today.
And I will clean my entire house.
And I will clean another blouse.
And I will clean here and there.
Say! I will clean EVERYWHERE!

I do so dislike puke and poop!

Screw you!
Screw you!

Alleyoop!

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When in Rome…

When I lived in St. Petersburg the street vendors sold ice cream even in sub zero temperatures. So in “when in Rome” fashion we’re celebrating our ice age with the low calorie version, smoothies. The boys enjoyed them but if this doesn’t warm us up, I guess we’ll have to try vodka.

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Don’t call CPS, I’ll put it in the freezer first.

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It’s a New Year!

Oops! Can I take a mulligan? I’d like to have another swing at a fresh start on this year’s goals, hopes, dreams, and aspirations thing. Since it’s a little early to start paving the road to hell with them, tomorrow I will begin anew. “With what?” you may ask. For that you’ll have to wait and see.

Nathan has ordained my restart with his magic noisemaker.


“Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

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Coblentz Curse

If you live in the Upper Midwest, you’ve probably noticed but just in case your extremities have gone numb, the Coblentz Weather Curse continues.  The Governor of Minnesota ordered schools statewide to close on Monday because we may see wind chills close to -50.  Hah!  You thought the worst we could bring was 3 feet of snow in less than 24 hours.  A  statewide closure has not occurred since 1997, coincidentally this was the the year of my first winter break in Minnesota.  Hmmmmm?

Sorry guys!  Time to pull on the long-underwear and stock up on hot chocolate.

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Freaky Friday

It’s early but so far no black cats, broken mirrors or ladders to walk under. However, if you are superstitious, I can give you a big reason to believe strange things happen on Friday the 13th.

We have three new haircuts and it’s not even noon.
Hah!

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Since it’s still early if you are curious about caring for three 2 year olds, I’d be happy to switch bodies for the day. Or maybe a week.

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