It Will Be Different

A side effect of the panic-inciting news that you’re going to have triplets is that you end up with less time to think about some of the more usual issues that occur to second time moms.  Just in the last few weeks of watching Fletcher, have I begun to comprehend how different all of this is going to be emotionally for all of us.

Fletch broke my heart this week when he told my mother that he was sad and having a hard time sleeping because he just wanted to be close to his momma, “you know I love her very much.”  Most of  my time and energy is spent doing everything I can to keep him from getting hurt.  We’re not just bringing home one more baby to take away from all the attention he’s used to, we’re bringing home three.  How can I do this to him?

Then there’s the question of how do we show three boys the same amount of love and support, we’ve given to Fletch for the last four years?  Will they ever be as assured as he is about the presence of unconditional love in his world?  Will they ever have the same understanding that even our discipline is doled out to keep them safe and make them better people?

And for me there’s the big question of sibling relationships.  Not growing up with any siblings myself, I have no experience with the right or wrong way to foster their relationships with each other.  Or even how to make sure I’m not comparing or favoring one or some over the others.  The closest my life experience has come to this is the spare change that sometimes came with Christmas presents from my Grandparents.  My Grandmother absolutely loved us equally so we all got the same amount for holidays and birthdays, right down to the penny.

No, we won’t be the world’s biggest family, or even especially big.  And no, we’re not the first people to have triplets but neither Eddie nor I have any experience with group dynamics on this scale.  So short of becoming child psychologists, we’ll just have to learn as we go and I’ll let you know how it goes.

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4 thoughts on “It Will Be Different

  1. Kelley Brown says:

    Just the fact that you’re thinking about all this tells me you will be just fine. Have faith in yourself Airika, have faith in your husband, and your family. I am sooooo proud of you.

  2. Joanna says:

    You, Eddie and Fletcher are going to be fine. I come from a family with 4 siblings and although we might not have loved each other all the time we are such good friends and I couldn’t imagine life with out all of them. Just so you know I grew up in a ranch house and we made it work just fine. I think there was a time where we had a crib in the one room with a bunk bed also. We also had another mattress on the ground that we could pull out from under then bunks and we all slept together. Now there is a 10 year age difference from Meredith the youngest to myself. It will all work itself out and everyone will be loved. I wish you all the best as you start this new adventure and we can’t wait to hear how the ride goes. All my love.

  3. Airika–
    love the way you’re thinking…but no worries..when we were having our second daughter (29 years ago!!), i was worried that I would never be able to share my love with another….and me being an only child too couldn’t quite understand how you can ever have love enough for more….but my best friend said to me…”no worries..you never have to share your love..you will just develop more”…..and so you will as well.

  4. Danese Donaldson-Theisen says:

    Airaka and Eddie – Congratulations on those 3 beautiful little boys. They all look so much alike – maybe the ‘different color nailpolish’ will be your way of determining ‘who is who’.

    Fletcher has Jimmy’s curly hair, doesn’t he?

    Jimmy and I graduated high school together and I remember his curls.

    I took care of Mrs. Dillon for a couple of years. She was a wonderful lady and a lot of fun to be with. We shared a lot of great evenings together, looking at her yearbook, etc. She still remembered each and every one of her classmates.

    Again, congratulations on this wonderful event.

    You will all do ‘Just Fine’.

    Sincerely,

    Danese Donaldson-Theisen

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