A side effect of the panic-inciting news that you’re going to have triplets is that you end up with less time to think about some of the more usual issues that occur to second time moms. Just in the last few weeks of watching Fletcher, have I begun to comprehend how different all of this is going to be emotionally for all of us.
Fletch broke my heart this week when he told my mother that he was sad and having a hard time sleeping because he just wanted to be close to his momma, “you know I love her very much.” Most of my time and energy is spent doing everything I can to keep him from getting hurt. We’re not just bringing home one more baby to take away from all the attention he’s used to, we’re bringing home three. How can I do this to him?
Then there’s the question of how do we show three boys the same amount of love and support, we’ve given to Fletch for the last four years? Will they ever be as assured as he is about the presence of unconditional love in his world? Will they ever have the same understanding that even our discipline is doled out to keep them safe and make them better people?
And for me there’s the big question of sibling relationships. Not growing up with any siblings myself, I have no experience with the right or wrong way to foster their relationships with each other. Or even how to make sure I’m not comparing or favoring one or some over the others. The closest my life experience has come to this is the spare change that sometimes came with Christmas presents from my Grandparents. My Grandmother absolutely loved us equally so we all got the same amount for holidays and birthdays, right down to the penny.
No, we won’t be the world’s biggest family, or even especially big. And no, we’re not the first people to have triplets but neither Eddie nor I have any experience with group dynamics on this scale. So short of becoming child psychologists, we’ll just have to learn as we go and I’ll let you know how it goes.