When you have kids, and especially when you have triplets, there are number of questions that people ask or rhetorically state frequently. Topping this list is “How do you do it?” or just as common “I don’t know how you do it.” In case any of you wanted to know the answer, instead of just filling the space between prayers that you never have three children at once, I will share my best guess. Don’t worry, I’m not about to tell you need to be “mom enough.”
Here it is…(drumroll please)…I do “it” because my mom did “it.” Once again my life can be summed up in a sports tagline, she taught me “just do it.” For me, everyday rain or shine, happy or sad, sick or well, she was a mom first and that meant pulling up her bootstraps and soldiering on. As a single mom for a chunk of my childhood, and the invested parent for its entirety, there were things she couldn’t give me but I had all I needed. As a working mom, she couldn’t be with me every minute, but I knew she was always there for me. She gave me love, invested her time, taught me respect by giving it and expecting it, and showed me beauty in the world and others. These are the things that I bring with me everyday when I’m with my children. I don’t remember if she let me cry or held me all night long. She couldn’t tell you, and neither can I, how long I was breast fed. But there hasn’t been a minute of my life when I didn’t know I was loved. For her, and now for me, motherhood is not a competition or something to be judged through others eyes, the only eyes that matter are those of our children. And if they look at you and see love, your philosophy on motherhood or lack thereof doesn’t matter.
My children are still very young and I realize we have a long road ahead. I’m not egotistical enough to think that if they become amazing athletes or brilliant scholars it will be because of something I did or did not do with them. However, I will take responsibility for ensuring that they always know what it is to be loved and love others.
If I am a good mother it is because she always was and still is.
P.S. if this is poorly edited, it is because I still rely on her to help spot typos and save me from run-on sentences, and I thought it best not to ask her this time before posting.