Iron Lady (explicit)

That’s right folks, Eddie’s been gone for less than 15 hours and I’m already comparing myself to the unwavering Margaret Thatcher.  Its easy to see the similarities: she was a swimmer, I was a swimmer, she was a chemist, I like chemistry, she led a nation, I lead four little men, she had twins, I have triplets.  I think its that extra multiple and additional boy that’s keeping me out of national politics.

All jokes aside, let me tell you about the last week at my house and you can decide what amazing women I should be compared to.  On the eve of our home inspection, Nathan woke up vomiting in his crib.  Hopeful, that it was a one time thing, we rinsed him off, changed his sheets, and put him back to bed.  An hour later same thing, this time we brought him to bed with us.  I’m going to blame our lack of forethought on sleepiness because, of course, an hour later he proceeded to puke all over our bed.  Same routine, rinse off, change sheets, back to bed.  And then, yep he did it again.  Finally, more awake we got smart and after changing the sheets we wrapped and covered everything in clean towels, he didn’t get sick after that.

I know what you’re thinking we’ve all had sick children before, it happens.  You’re right, and normally I would bleach bomb the house, run everything through two hot water cycles and move on.  Here’s the kicker: our wash machine is broken.  So Wednesday morning my house is full of inspectors, babies, and disgusting sheets.  I thought we’d hit a low point.

Things got better and everyone was feeling good during the day and all of Thursday.  Just when I thought we were in the clear and Eddie hit the road…..

1:30 AM –  “Mom, I puked”  Clean up the mess, find a bucket, back to bed, with a cover-hogging five year old.

2:30 AM- More puking, to the bathroom, rinse bucket and boy, back to bed.

4:00 AM- Repeat

4:30 AM- Crying and puking from the monitor.  Downstairs with Nurse Fletcher.  Change sheets, rinse baby, cover clean sheets with towel (I’m learning), comfort two crying brothers, back to bed.

8:00 AM- Wake up incredibly thankful that my boys love sleep as much as I do.

8:30 AM Head in with bottles and Fletch goes upstairs for slippers.

8:32 AM “Mom, I pooped my pants.  I thought I had to fart and I pooped my pants.”  Clean up bathroom, leave Fletcher on the toilet and check on triplets.

8:40 AM “Mom, it’s like my butt is puking”  At this point I have to deliver the devastating news that we will have to cancel both of our much anticipated playdates.  Leave crying 5 year old in the shower and change now crying triplets.

9:30 AM Call and evoke desperation with service company and manage to get washer appointment moved up two days.  This is still two days after I will run out of clean pajamas.

10:00 AM Thank goodness for Sesame Street.


I’d like to dedicate this post to David Cameron.  Just so you don’t think this SAHM is not “aspiring,” I aspire to not spend another night covered in vomit and to not lose my sh*t on some poor unsuspecting stranger.


4 thoughts on “Iron Lady (explicit)

  1. Joelle Malec says:

    Oh Airika! I thought when we spoke last night that you and the boys were miraculously in the clear, done with vomit and that only Nathan and your sheets would be worse for the wear. You are Supermom and much too pretty to be compared to Margaret Thatcher! You are also way overqualified for running a small country. You could certainly rule the world with the energy and patience you are exhibiting now. As your Realtor I’m feeling very guilty and responsible for all the showings, negotiations, open houses, building inspections, etc. that have caused you to spend hours outside of your home where inevitabley the boys were exposed to this tummy bug. Let me know if there is anything I can do to help right now…and when you take over the world I’d like to apply for a position in your cabinet.

  2. Kate Simpson says:

    Oh my. Margaret Thatcher got nothing on you, Airika! My heart goes out to you. Sleep deprivation is one of the great tests of parenthood, and you have it times FOUR. Coraggio!

  3. Kristine Grillo says:

    Um, first of all, you gave me a seriously big belly laugh this evening, thank you. Second of all, you are amazing, wow, I don’t think I would have survived long enough to write such an interesting blog post. Wishing you all good health and a SOLD house!! : ) Best of luck with the move my friend!!

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