I used to be a planner. There were lists, schedules, goals, binders, the whole nine yards. 10 years ago, I had it all figured out. Eddie would work for Players Inc and I would get my Masters and travel the world as a development consultant. We’d move to the DC suburbs so our boy and girl could go to decent schools. Hah! Clearly, the decade has not gone as planned.
In fantastic and crazy ways life has forced me to adopt a different attitude towards planning…
Instead of telling our young people to plan ahead, we should tell them to plan to be surprised.- Dan in Real Life
I’m still a planner, but instead of assuming A will lead to B, I embrace the idea that you never really know what magic will happen if you let it.
• you might plan to add a baby girl to your family portrait and have three strapping boys
•you might go to a baseball game and find yourself working for a championship team
• you might decide to go to Dip Ball with a friend and end up with the love of your life.
So ten years of marriage hasn’t given me any secret recipes. In fact, we’ve probably done everything wrong. We’ve gone to bed mad, lived apart for months at a time, no regular date nights but I love him more now than I did that rainy day in May.
(Please excuse me while I wax lyrical, literally I’m stealing lyrics.)
We lead a “semi-charmed kind of life,” but “it’s not always rainbows and butterflies its compromise that moves us along.” So wish me luck in planning our next 60 years. I’ll be loving him until he’s “gone, gone, gone.”
If you must have some sort of lesson learned here’s mine:
Life is a roller coaster, find someone who likes the ride as much as you do.